My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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