What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
