I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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