That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
