U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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