How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
