I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
