Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
