Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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