we're blogging at a bar
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Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
