This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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