You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
