shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
