to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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