you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
