you guys were way drunker than both of me
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
