if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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