you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
