i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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