I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
