D3 body, D1 cock
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
how drunk are you?
Several
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
