alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's rum buckets o'clock
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
