you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
ttyl tear gas
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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