I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
