one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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