Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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