Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
