It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
