i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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