tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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