im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
