His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
