Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
