All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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