oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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