so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
