I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
