oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
