Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
