You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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