I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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