She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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