Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
