I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
