Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
