I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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