why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
