yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
