So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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