I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
