C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
