I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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