I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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