Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
