Sponge bath it is.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
