You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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