she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
