If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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