The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
