So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
May the power of my ass compel you!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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