I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
