he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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